Don’t Make Me Put Laxatives in Your Food Retro Housewife Kitchen Towel

A Little Sass for Your Kitchen Routine

Spice things up—literally and figuratively—with this hilarious kitchen towel that reads: “Don’t make me put laxatives in your food.” Equal parts cheeky and charming, it’s perfect for home cooks with a mischievous sense of humor and zero tolerance for kitchen drama.

Featuring a bold retro-inspired design, this towel makes a statement while still being practical. It’s made from soft, absorbent fabric that’s ideal for drying dishes, wiping up spills, or simply hanging on the oven door to amuse guests and keep the peace (or threaten it, lightly).

Great as a quirky gift for friends, family, roommates, or coworkers, this towel turns any kitchen into a place where laughter is always on the menu—even if revenge is too. Whether you’re throwing shade or just dishing out jokes, this towel is the perfect blend of sass and function.

This towel is printed with permanent sublimation ink. It is 16” x 28”, super soft and ultra-absorbent professional weight waffle weave that holds more than 8x its weight in liquids but dries 2x faster than traditional fibers. Clean, dry, and polish, to a lint free and streak free shine in your home, office or vehicle.

Colors on monitors can vary so the image may be slightly different from what you see on the screen.

Overall dimensions: 16” x 28”. Stitching may cause the measurement to vary up to ½”.

100% Polyester, sublimation printed with permanent ink that bonds with the fibers. Do not bleach.