Thou Shalt Shutteth Thy Piehole and Calmeth Thine Tits Funny Towel

A Commandment for the Chaos – Served with Sass and Style

Bring order to the kitchen (or at least a good laugh) with this hilariously irreverent towel that reads: “Thou Shalt Shutteth Thy Piehole and Calmeth Thine Tits.” Styled like an old-world commandment with modern-day snark, it’s the perfect blend of vintage flair and unapologetic attitude.

Made from soft, absorbent fabric, this towel is ideal for everyday kitchen use—drying hands, cleaning spills, or simply making a statement. Whether you hang it for the laughs or gift it to someone who appreciates bold humor, this towel is sure to stir the pot in the best way possible.

Perfect for sarcastic souls, loud-laughers, and anyone who believes in keeping it real (with just a touch of ye olde drama).

This towel is printed with permanent sublimation ink. It is 16” x 28”, super soft and ultra-absorbent professional weight waffle weave that holds more than 8x its weight in liquids but dries 2x faster than traditional fibers. Clean, dry, and polish, to a lint free and streak free shine in your home, office or vehicle.

Colors on monitors can vary so the image may be slightly different from what you see on the screen.

Overall dimensions: 16” x 28”. Stitching may cause the measurement to vary up to ½”.

100% Polyester, sublimation printed with permanent ink that bonds with the fibers. Do not bleach.